WACO, Texas — “How can we disciple our young people well on matters of biblical sexuality?” Gary Stidham, director of training for Texas Baptists’ Center for Collegiate Ministry, asked a Texas Baptist group.

Stidham raised the question during a breakout session held in conjunction with the Baptist General Convention of Texas (BGCT) annual meeting last month.

Stidham credited Sean McDowell, a professor at Talbot School of Theology, with observing that prior generations wanted to know about Christianity, “Is it true?” But Generation Z is asking, “Is it good?”

The shift from intellectual questions to moral questions among young people means churches must be sensitive in how they discuss matters of sexual identity, if they want to reach Gen Z.

Today’s critique of the church by those outside the faith isn’t so much that Christianity is illogical or unreasonable, but that it is unloving and uncaring toward people on the margins — particularly women, immigrants, people of color and those in the LGBTQ community, Stidham noted.

But if church leaders want to help students and young families love the Gospel, the church and the Word of God, “we have to tackle issues around sexual morality, because that’s where the culture has gotten so far off the rails in the last few decades,” Stidham said.

Stidham suggested to address this conversation, Christian leaders should talk about the subject of sexuality holistically, starting with Genesis; make affirming marriage a priority; celebrate chastity, singleness and celibacy; teach wise dating; and fight pornography aggressively.

Stidham served as a campus missionary with Baptist Student Ministries at the University of Texas in Arlington for 21 years. He now oversees 60 campus missionary interns for their first couple of years out of college serving with BSM. His doctoral work focused on LGBTQ issues.

He noted 12 years ago, after a time when the BSM at UT Arlington had “gotten really good at gathering large groups” but was not seeing very many college students come to Christ, “God led us to shepherd a really powerful evangelistic movement.”

As a result, the BSM began to see at least one student a week come to Christ, a trend, Stidham noted, “that continues to this day.”

One thing his team at UT Arlington began to realize was these new Christians’ “lives were messy,” and they came with “a lot of baggage to unpack, and a lot of that baggage had to do with gender and sexuality issues.”

While Stidham acknowledged issues about sexuality “have always been around,” the increased cultural focus on sexuality and gender identity means issues around sexuality are even more present and complex. In fact, sexual confusion and brokenness permeate Gen Z.

Increasing numbers

Gallup reported this year 19% of Gen Z (ages 12-27) identify as LGBTQ, compared to about 10% of Millennials, 5% of Gen X and 2% of Baby Boomers.

A recent Barna poll reflects an even higher%age, with 39% identifying as LGBTQ and half of that number identifying as bisexual.

But more Gen Z identify as same-sex-attracted than who act upon that attraction, Stidham pointed out. Most of this generation who claim a bisexual identity only date the opposite sex. They “want that identity, so they say they’re bisexual, even though they don’t act upon it.”

What has led to the burgeoning numbers who identify as LGBTQ? First, Stidham noted, is the “straight-up reality that there are people who are same-sex attracted.”

From ancient times all the way up until now, in a “complicated mix of nature and nurture,” he said, there are people “who didn’t ask for it” or “wake up and decide one morning, ‘I’m going to like people like me (same sex).’”

Another factor is the epidemic of loneliness affecting this generation. Sexual identity has coalesced into a “movement of belonging for disaffected youth,” where they can find connections that eluded them outside of the LGBTQ community.

Another contributor is social pressure, especially for people who in years past would have been described as “tomboys” or “sensitive boys.” Now, there is pressure for such natural personality differences to be understood as signifiers of homosexuality or gender nonconformity, he explained.

Mental health and LGBTQ are related, Stidham noted, pointing out there is a “tremendous correlation” between anxiety and depression and LGBTQ identity. And neurodivergence — autism spectrum disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder — has an even higher correlation to LGBTQ identity than anxiety.

“Almost every one of the reasons means what these young adults don’t need is our scorn and a wagging finger. What they typically need is our arms welcoming them in.

“They need patience. They need help meeting Jesus, so that with discipleship they can unpack all the confusion,” he noted.

Trying to “own the liberals” isn’t the way to love LGBTQ people. Instead, loving the teenagers who struggle with confusing messages about sexuality is how to reach LGBTQ people, he said.

He pointed to “radical individual autonomy” that came out of the sexual revolution of the 1960s as being at the heart of why LGBTQ has become such a heated issue. So, he cautioned pastors against playing into a “nobody can tell me what to do mindset.”

Core identity realignment

For a good many people, sexuality has become the ultimate identity, seen as being at the very core of who they are.

“I’m not a man who happens to be same-sex attracted. I’m a gay man,” Stidham gave as an example to clarify this idea.

Because sexuality has assumed such a preeminent place in identities, in order to disciple young people, church leaders must learn how to speak thoughtfully and with nuance about these issues.

Christian students want to talk about these issues, Stidham noted. They want to know the truth concerning sexuality. In fact, “they’re more eager to hear than we are to share.”

These conversations should be approached by church leaders with genuine questions, seeking to understand what students are hearing and feeling about matters of sexuality and identity.

“We are ministers and missionaries, not political pundits,” Stidham noted. There is a culture war happening, “but don’t be a culture warrior,” Stidham urged. “The reason we talk about these issues is to help people come to Jesus.”

1 Corinthian 6:18-20 demonstrates sexual morality is profoundly important to our spirituality, he said.

When Christian leaders are discipling students on matters of sexuality, they should stress the flourishing that can come when identities are found not in sexuality, but in Christ.

(EDITOR’S NOTE — This story originally appeared in the Baptist Standard.)